5 ways to inner peace
If I asked you if you wanted a million dollars or an experience of lasting inner peace, what would you choose? If you want inner peace, please read on. This article describes the top five ways that have helped me change my life. To be honest, I don’t feel at peace all the time, but I’ve learned by following one or all of these five methods at any given moment, how to pull myself out of upset, sadness, anger, and unhappiness in seconds.
1) Trust your instincts
Trust that your inner guidance on any topic will provide you with the perfect answer. There is a part of you connected to the bigger picture, the universe, the Source, God, whatever you prefer to call it. I refer to this as your higher self. And this higher instinct or instinct, sixth sense, intuition knows what is in your best interest at all times. Learn to trust this voice unconditionally and you will feel more at peace as you avoid instinctive situations that you would rather not experience.
To give an example, imagine you are about to book a vacation and have an uncomfortable feeling about the location, accommodation, flight, date, or anything else related to the vacation. Don’t ignore this feeling. It’s your inner radar telling you that vacation isn’t aligned with the best possible outcome for you. Listen carefully to the aspect you are sensitive to and change this, eg date, destination, residence, etc. until you feel everything is right.
Your intuition gives you guidance about any aspect of your life, whether it is related to relationships, money, work, health, hobbies, travel, etc., it always works in your best interest. To learn to trust your intuition, write down the situations in which you trust your intuition and the associated consequences. Make notes of situations when you chose not to follow your Inner Guidelines and write down the outcome. Over time you will soon realize that following your intuition pays off.
Tip: It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between your intuition and the voice in your head, your ego or your conscious mind. Your intuition is the first feeling or thought that comes to you, before you engage your head and start analyzing a situation. Sometimes the flash only lasts a split second. If you are not really sure whether your intuition or your mind is guiding you, take the next step in the process and see how you feel afterwards. For example, if you are looking to book a vacation, do a little more research on the vacation and imagine yourself there. If you still feel uncomfortable or shiver, follow these guidelines and change your plans. This is your talking intuition and it will warn you along the way!
2) Be responsible for your emotions
Contrary to popular belief, your emotions and feelings do not own you. You can decide and choose how you want to feel at any given moment. Once you realize this, try it, and constantly challenge yourself to feel more positive at any given moment, your life will be transformed.
To feel at peace, try to improve your negative feelings at any given moment. Don’t try to change from feeling depressed to being the happiest person alive. Take small steps from feeling low to feeling a little better, and then some more. Consciously choose a happier thought that leads to a happier feeling. Know that this choice is in your power.
It is not easy to change the negative feelings that you have carried with you for so long. Start practicing the feelings that you can change most easily. Only you can determine what those attitudes and feelings are. To give you an example, for me personally driving is a challenge to stay in a peaceful state. I get very angry with cars driving close to me because I have had several accidents where others hit my car. Now, when someone drives past me, I consciously use that as an opportunity to change my feelings of fear and anger, to one that is more peaceful.
3) Be authentic
Being authentic means going after who you are and what you like best at any given moment. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone – ever! You are not on this planet to climb to #10 on the chart of most popular person, richest person, best looking person, or smartest person. You are here to experience life, play with it, have fun, and express who you are – whatever that means to you personally.
Every day we receive many external messages through the media and other people telling us who we should be. These messages give us the impression that without adhering to these artificial ideals, we are less than others around us. Most of us subconsciously and consciously follow these messages to some degree and constantly struggle and strive to live up to these images. The pressure to be different from who we really are begins during early childhood. Our school system is designed to categorize each and every one of us and put us into boxes. I don’t want to attack the school system. But just be aware of how much pressure we are under from an early age that tells us we are not good enough. We are not given a lot of freedom to be who we are, even if it means average or bad grades, not coming first in class, and not keeping up with the talents of other kids.
Being authentic means following your passion, being yourself, and choosing to be you in every moment. There is no need for anyone else to be. You don’t have to hoard material possessions or force your body into unnatural shape to be a “person.” You are already all you are meant to be. And you are perfect in your own unique way. Once you understand this about yourself, you will automatically accept everyone around you for who they are. You will notice how it becomes more difficult and less natural to judge another person as you realize that everyone else has the same right to express themselves as they are.
I am an introvert and don’t talk easily to strangers. I’m definitely not the outgoing person I often watch and envy from afar. I remember a guy who broke up with me because I never said anything. And for a long time after that, I was very self-conscious of my introverted nature. I thought something was wrong with me, some part of my personality wasn’t developed properly. This continued into my career, I would shudder when I heard the phrase “let’s do some networking”. Then I realized it’s okay, I’m not weird. I have other qualities. I am a good listener and when I do speak I usually have something useful to say. The pressure that fell off me when I made it okay to be me was amazing.
Free yourself from the belief and pressure that you have to change or be different. Instead, learn more about yourself. Find out what brings passion into your life. Experiment with who you are and once you start being honest, you will soon gain more courage to continue on this path for the rest of your life.
4) Live in the moment
We spend a lot of time thinking about the past or the future. It seems hard to stay in this moment. However, there are many great benefits if you choose to be in the moment. It becomes clear that most of your fears about the future are unfounded. Those who find themselves clinging to the past often focus on the negative. This serves no purpose because the past is the past. You can’t change it. By focusing on being here now, you will automatically radiate the greatest amount of anxiety, worry, fear, and sadness out of your life.
Being in the moment, really focusing on what’s in front of you right now makes the world feel brighter and lighter. Colors become more intense. Suddenly things that felt important become small and unimportant. You value the time you spend with your loved ones or the time you spend on your hobbies and passions.
It may take some practice to be in the present moment because we are so used to thinking about the future or remembering the past. The easiest way I’ve experienced is focusing on your breathing. Feel your lungs expanding and contracting with each breath. After 10 breaths or so, you will feel a change in your awareness of your immediate surroundings. You can also focus on calming noises, such as the wind blowing or calming music. Anything that you can actively participate in through your senses brings you into the moment. Living in the moment will enrich your life because you are here, right now. You participate in your own life instead of watching it from afar like it’s a soap opera.
I bring myself into the moment as a form of meditation and calming. Or I use this technique if my mind is exploding with anxiety and I can’t stop the negative thoughts swirling around in my head. I just ask myself if I’m okay in the moment, and 99% of the time the answer is “yes.”
Tip: If your head keeps churning around thoughts and you can’t stop them, just acknowledge them and let them fly. Don’t try to force yourself to stop thinking, it’s impossible. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have control the moment you start. It can take practice and patience to get there.
5) Love yourself
This may sound cheesy to some of you, but loving yourself is the most basic and most important step to finding inner peace. If you love yourself, you accept and respect yourself. Whatever other people say to you, or how they treat you, becomes unimportant because you no longer depend on anyone else’s judgment. You are already coming to terms with your true self and realizing that you are perfect the way you are. If you love yourself, you no longer depend on the love of others to make you feel complete. Your relationships turn into a new angle because you feel free from the pressure of having to do things or do things in order to get approval and love from another person. Instead, you can be free to be who you are with the other person. Magically, if you love yourself, you will find it much easier to love everyone and everything around you. If you have children, loving yourself will teach them one of the most important things in life which will give them a solid platform to develop themselves – they will find it completely natural to love themselves as they watch you do the same.
Your self-love may seem selfish or self-centered. However, unless you love yourself first, how can you expect anyone else to love you? If you think you’re not worthy of love, why would anyone else think that?
Tip: Self-love can be trained. All it takes is 5 to 10 minutes each day. I learned the “mirror dialogue” technique from Dr. Barbara Rose:
Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. The eyes are the gates to the soul so this is how you can connect with your being. Then think of three notable positive actions you took during the previous day or the same day. Say these verbs out loud and which quality in you expresses them. For example, if you held the door open for someone in a store, your statement would be: Today I was helping when I held the door open for the person behind me in the store. Maybe you showed up on time for the meeting. Then your statement will be: You were responsible and reliable when you showed up on time for the meeting.
You will probably feel weird the first time you do this and everything in you will rebel against doing it. But stick to it. Do it anyway. It’s a technique that will help you speed up loving yourself 100-fold and more. It is a proven technique that has helped me and many others. Stick to it for at least 6 months. Soon after you start doing this, you will start to feel much better about yourself.
None of these methods for inner peace is a secret. Many authors, trainers, and even scholars have written a great deal of material on these topics; Which indicates that there is something true about them! From my own experience, I can share with you that it is a lifelong process of integrating these technologies and making them part of your identity. But once you start, you will be amazed at the rapid and encouraging changes you will see in your life. And soon you’ll notice how much more at peace you feel when situations that would have made your blood boil in the past only make you smile at your progress.
